Third Culture Kids: Exploring The Experiences of Young Expats

Every parent wants to ensure stability, opportunity, and a sense of belonging for their children. For expat parents, those goals can feel more complex. 

Moving abroad can mean that children grow up between two (or more) different cultures, giving them a completely different outlook compared to their parents and their peers.

Many of these children later report difficulties feeling fully at home in either culture, which is why the term “Third Culture Kids” was coined.

The “third culture” is a unique identity that is not just one or the other, but a mix of the cultures they were raised in or influenced by.

While they may face some challenges, Third Culture Kids may also benefit from unique opportunities, life experiences, and strengths.

One Reddit user explained, “While there’s some difficulties like not really knowing how to answer the dreaded ‘where are you from’ question, I wouldn’t change my background or experiences for the world.”

What It Means To Be A Third Culture Kid

Third Culture Kids are typically defined as “Individuals who spend a significant part of their developmental years outside their parents’ home country.”

As global mobility grows, there are more and more children who fit this definition. However, teenagers and adults who relocate or spend long periods of time in new cultures may also face similar experiences.

What Struggles Do Third Culture Kids Face?

Any major relocation has an impact on children, whether it’s domestic, international, to a similar culture, or a completely different one.

Just like adults, children tend to worry about leaving behind what they’re familiar with, missing friends and family, and the uncertainty of a new place.

When Benjamin Thomas was 9 years old and his parents told him that they were relocating from the U.S. to Montreal, Canada, his concerns were no different, “At first I was pretty against it. I was sad to leave my friends and the sports and school environment I was used to.”

Beyond the adjustment period and relocation itself, Third Culture Kids often face struggles with identity and belonging.

What Strengths Can Third Culture Kids Build?

Although it comes with certain challenges, living in one or more cultures can ultimately be an enriching experience.

Adaptability & Resilience

Navigating big changes, especially early in life, can build life-long adaptability and resilience. Third Culture Kids are often exposed to a lot more change than the average child: new schools, friends, languages, social norms, and so much more. With the right support system, this exposure to change can lead children to adapt quickly, read new environments, and find creative solutions to problems.

Global Perspective & Cultural Awareness

Exposure to multiple countries or cultures also fosters a cultural awareness from an early age. Third Culture Kids often interact with a wider range of people, learn a wider range of history, and experience different traditions and norms. This can lead to greater open-mindedness and a respect for differences, allowing Third Culture Kids to collaborate and relate well with others.

Independence & Strong Communication Skills

Third Culture Kids often have to rebuild routines, develop new relationships, and maybe even learn new languages. All of this can lead to a strong sense of independence—the ability to tackle new situations, communicate clearly, and understand others.

How Can Expat Parents Support Their Children?

Navigating through a relocation with children is more than just a logistical challenge, it’s a long-term responsibility. Guiding your children through the initial relocation process is the first step, and it can build a solid foundation for years to come.

There are a few key areas of focus that can guide both adults and children through the transition process and beyond.

#1. Community

Building community is the top way to ease any big transition, for both adults and children alike! For children, prioritizing relationships early in the relocation process can significantly help them adjust and thrive in their new environment.

Benjamin recounts: “What made it easier was that my parents kept pointing out the fun parts of Montreal and signed me up for activities like soccer right away. That helped me meet people, and by the time school started, I already had some friends who introduced me to their groups.”

Planning for social connections through school, clubs, sports, and other programs is an easy way to create natural relationships and begin building a new network. Remember that, for most children, school will be a defining feature of their experience. Choosing a school mindfully and making an effort to build connections with other students and parents can go a long way.

If you’re relocating to a completely new culture, a good starting point may be an age-appropriate language program. Learning even the basics can help your child connect with the local community, and they will also get the chance to connect with other language learners.

For older children and adults, online forums can be another tool to find community. Connecting with others, hearing stories, and even sharing your own with other people who have been through similar experiences can be helpful. For example, the Third Culture Kids subreddit often features helpful advice from users like this:

#2. Communication

Communication is crucial to ensure that children feel supported and validated throughout their experiences. During the transition period and beyond, it’s important for families to keep communication open. Allowing children to express their emotions, struggles, wins, and losses can build confidence and a supportive environment.

Consider giving children an opportunity to participate in decisions, understand upcoming plans or changes, and share their opinions throughout the process.

#3. Routine

Routines and habits are a powerful tool to help children adjust and embrace a new environment. During the transition period, holding on to key routines is helpful to maintain a sense of stability. Maintain certain routines or traditions that you’re already used to, even if they are small: things like bed time routines or weekly movie night can go a long way.

Old routines can help children (and adults) settle in amidst other big changes, but new routines can also help cultivate a sense of belonging. Finding new traditions to introduce—a weekly park visit, a special treat at a local restaurant, a cultural experience—can make you feel more at home and introduce children to the exciting aspects of your move.

lndaforet described their experience: “One thing my parents did that I still appreciate to this day: taking me out to explore local things, and spending time with local people. They could've easily kept me in the expatriate bubble, and its great support when culture shock gets too overwhelming. But exploring together and trying hard things for the sake of becoming more open minded, making mistakes together, etc. Those things made great memories. And it helps start healthy family discussions about adapting to a new place.”

Being a Third Culture Kid is an exciting, challenging, and rewarding adventure that is becoming increasingly common around the world. As parents, setting up the right support system can help your children make the most of their unique strengths and navigate any obstacles along the way.